Some people get rather picky about the spelling and pronunciation of their name. I can understand why people are particular about their name. It is an identity thing. It conveys who we are. Who we have been. It is tied to memory, family and all of those moments with friends.
Not me. I really like my name, and I like it any of the ways in which it can be spoken, including any of the shortened nicknames. I guess growing up an identical twin I was lucky if someone even used a name, and if they did, used the right one. I can't remember ever being offended by it though.
My identity was not formed as an individual. My identity was formed wholly in the context of my sister until high school. I didn't know loneliness, or even what it was like not to have someone there to talk to, play with or plan adventures alongside at all times. Where you found one of us the other was close behind. At the time it never occurred to me that my reality was different to others (as kids I guess you can't expect a strong theory of mind).
I have always been the same person but what I learnt over those years is that how people view me is a comparative reference. When I was younger this reference point was my sister or others around us. Like my identity (to others), my name pronunciation changes depending on the people viewing or speaking it. I think I am more okay with this concept than most people (I usually get pinned down to specify the "correct" way to say it). When I say "I don't mind" or "whatever feels right for you", I mean it.
My approach to my name is an acknowledgement that who I am to others is dynamic and fluid. It is dependent on the role I am in at the time, the people around me and the situation I am working with. Most importantly it is dependent on the individual filters of the people looking at me and making an assessment of who I am. I know that that to some people everything is in a name and I guess that is the same for me too, as long as it is in the ball park.
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